PEP Magazine

Hallmark is launching a magazine to further expand its uber-brand. Don't we have enough kitsch on newsstands? Every time I go to Whole Foods there is another "organize your life with Pilates and broccoli (steamed)" publication. What does Hallmark bring to the table? Doesn’t sound like they know yet, exactly, other than they plan to rip off a combination of Real Simple and O.

“Is it going to make an affluent, 30-year-old woman excited to pick up the magazine? That’s what I have to be sold on,” one ad exec says.

Ok, this fantasy reader is me. And I read OK magazine tonight at the gym and washed it down with the New Yorker (an issue from April -- I am way behind). I dont think the Hallmark magazine is really going to grab anyone in that demo -- but I do think PEP could.

Yes, I am conceptualizing a magazine before we launch our first card line.

What would you want to read? Stories about fashion are unlikely as I lean toward blacks and blues and Doreen wears cartoon socks and fantasizes about a starfish tattoo. Art is a given. Food -- highly likely considering we both would rather spend dough on a great meal and wine than nearly anything else in the world. Except books. And travel. And more wine. Hmmm. How did this concept suddenly turn into Gourmet?

Oh, there would have to be a section completely devoted to monkeys. And giraffes. Conde Naste doesn't have anything on that.

Maine

Tomorrow I begin my summer pilgrimmage up the East Coast to the homeland. First stop, brainstorming and wine with my best girl Doreen, super-pup Baxter and No. 1 hubby Mikey. Hopefully Doreen and I will work some details out, get the biz cards finalized and have info for you, our loving fans, on the debut line.

OK, so there are like 10 of you. But everyone starts small. Unless you're Paris Hilton launching a hotel line. In that case -- I guess I should start my own insulation company.

It's blistering hot in D.C. and all I want is ice cream I can eat without it giving me a stomach ache 20 minutes later. And a martini. An ice cream martini.

One of my favorite things about driving 95 is stopping in N.H. at the liquor store. Dad has requested a 1/2 gallon of Kettle. The pear don't fall too far, folks.

So, in the spirit of local wine and martini recipes, I can guarantee you one thing --these cards of PEP's will be created in the best of spirits -- and those spirits will be nothing less than top shelf.

Unless you're into playing beer pong with Mad Dog. Not that I know anyone like that.

Bald guys get jokes

I was first struck by the Bald Guys Greetings' booth because there were just men in it. Men manning their own booth at a stationery show -- not just men hanging out their girlfriends or wives or sisters -- was quite an unique. I also loved the quirky designs they had on their cards, scattered on a table.

Then I picked one up and read it. I laughed so hard and so loud -- people around me were startled. Im used to this, but the creators -- Ian and Sean, only one of whom was actually bald -- seemed so thrilled to have someone laughing so hard and so loudly in their booth (and at their stuff) that they kept giving me more cards to read.

Each one made me giggle more. Eventually, they were one of verge of embarrassment.

"People are going to think that your a plant," they beamed -- and then handed me another one -- "What do you think of this?"

The reason why these cards are so cool, aside from the fact that their partnership is similar to Doreen and myself with a 'designer' type and a 'writer' type -- is that they were dead honest. A card you would write for yourself if you could create the cards that you thought up in your head. And were that damned creative. Which most people just aren't.

Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday ...

Shoebox 401K

From the land of finance, this bit from Investment News:

CHICAGO - In an unusual move, Metrics Partners has begun creating 401(k) greeting cards to send to plan sponsors. Sending out greeting cards to third-party administrators will help them retain business with plan sponsors ...

"Personal greeting cards seemed low technology but a touchy-feely way to stay in touch," he said. "It's a real effective way for a 401(k) company to communicate with their customers."

Touchy-feely communications for a not-so-emotional business. Like a go-between for emotion.

The cards can be customized.

"I've talked with a couple of [third-party administrators] who wanted to make them funny," Mr. Adams said. "I also talked with banks that are more conservative, and they want cards that are more conservative."

Makes sense -- and at $3 per card, lucrative sense.

For the love of Edward Monkton

I bought a few cards the other day and was happy to see that British designer Edward Monkton had a couple of new ones out. I think he is brilliant. Hilarious. Weird. Simple. And nuts.

The Pig of Happiness seriously makes me laugh out loud every time I see him. Apparently he exists in toy form somewhere in the universe. I am guessing somewhere British.

If you live in a land where there is no Edward Monkton, you can order his some of his cards online via Soleberry Modern.

Our friends

At the stationery show, we made some friends. This was before -- and during -- the time we roamed the floor looking for cheap canapes and champagne. And beer. And wine. We certainly found some companies that attracted us from across the floor -- splashes of color and fun and unique lettering --- with buttons, candies, cookies, bracelets, stickers, magnets and lots of other schwag to haul off. I'm going to post a few of them here in the coming weeks. I think we can all learn from one another.