Glitter and the Patriot Act

If you have seen an e-mail encouraging you to write to soldiers at Walter Reed this holiday season, it appears to be a hoax:

"Millions of people are receiving an e-mail that suggests sending cards to "wounded soldier" at Walter Reed Army Hospital. Unfortunately, due to security reasons, your card will be thrown away unopened."

Generic cards don't fly anymore with the Pentagon. All mail needs to be addressed to specific soldiers. But don't let the technicality stop you from reaching out to fighting men and women this year. The Red Cross sponsors a program that facilitates getting cards to soldiers in combat zones and military hospitals in the U.S. and overseas.

Through Dec. 10, send your greeting cards -- with adequate postage and a return address -- to Holiday Mail for Heroes, P.O. Box 5456, Capitol Heights, Md. 20791-5456. But please, no glitter.

The importance of audience & art

The Bush White House's (next-to) final Hanukkah reception invitations are out ... featuring an image of the White House **Christmas** tree "being pulled by a horse-drawn cart with a Christmas wreath tacked on to the White House in the background."

The First Lady says the "intended" ones will be in the mail next week. Let's hope they remember to leave out the image of the holiday ham this time around.

Drinking with Santa

I have seen snow, found the Christmas music station and spotted my first sets of lights, so clearly we are deep in the holiday season. I actually don't know how this happened, but apparently time advances in some sort of a lunar cycle. Or so they tell me. In any case, to celebrate, Doreen and I have created a festive holiday card for you. We SHOULD have it online next week. It features a drink recipe that I have been dying to share since the stranger who shared it with me 6 years ago told me not to. It also has a deer on it. Get excited.

But if you MUST purchase cards from others, The Onion reminds you of the perils of pissing off Santa and our boys at Bald Guys invite you to celebrate Hannukah with Morty.

Save your money, buy a greeting card

Who isn't watching their wallet a little closer these days? Even my CEO was telling me (proudly) this week how he and our CFO ordered pizza -- and even walked to pick it up -- instead of doing dinners out during budget meetings.

My birthday is in two weeks and I've rented out part of my favorite bar and invited a ton of friends to celebrate with me. Presents not accepted, presence is enough. But I do hope I get some fun, creative cards. I really appreciate the time and effort someone puts into their choice, especially if it makes me think, or smile or tear up. And I save them all. (Dad, this no-gift policy does not apply to you -- I still want that wine fridge).

Of course, a couple glasses of whiskey are also welcome. I'm never one to turn down booze.

I'm glad I never moved to Akron

In a previous life, I considered it. But, quickly, on to Shaky Lady Art.

I am completely happy to tout the greeting card venture of an 80-year-old nursing home resident from the Cleveland area. Especially because all of the proceeds go to a national nonprofit project that fulfills the late-in-life wishes or dreams of nursing home residents. Both very good things.

But, as a professional writer, I cannot accept seeing this in print: "They're missing out on the real gift, which is this — she rocks!"

I'm without words...