Fresh, beautiful and noisy as hell

I spent a few days by myself (mostly...) at an all-inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic about 7 years ago. Nothing amazing (I couldn't afford "spectacular," but I could afford unlimited beer in my room), but it was pretty and it had peacocks. They are lovely birds -- strutting around, fanning their plumage and distracting me somewhat from the dismal food on the premises.

The first night I was there, after a few drinks and "dinner", I was sitting in a hot tub and heard the most awful screech -- ever. It sounded like someone being knifed. Being a 25-year-old woman on vacation alone in an island nation -- in a bikini in a hot tub alone late at night -- this was a bit disconcerting in a "all the things Mom warned me about" kind of way. I waited. I listened. The sound came again.

I grabbed my towel and booked it back to my room.

After not sleeping all night, I went to the lobby to try once again to contact my online travel agency about a booking issue (a now defunct vacation site that screwed me over for a good $200) and to see if the police had showed up overnight for that dead lady I was sure was found on the lawn after midnight. On the way, I ran into a peacock, gliding across the lawn -- bobbing its head and checking for a snack.

Then it opened its beak....

The good thing about peacock images -- which are the rage in the greeting card world this summer -- is that they are all jewel-tones and flash, without the noise. Trust me, this is one sound Hallmark will not want to license.